One Sunday morning as I glanced up I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror I was brushing my daughters hair and fussing at her for not being ready but God took me back to that same mirror in that same bathroom 30 something years before. The same anger was there, the same hurt was there, the same confusion was there...only this time 30 year earlier I was the little girl who was hurt and confused and it was my mother who was angry.
The whole thing was typical.
It was the typical Sunday morning argument
- Oh, how the enemy delights in these -
You know the argument that I am talking about.
Brush your hair!
No, you cant wear that!
Get off the floor before you pick your tights!
What do you mean you can't find your shoe?
Rush, rush,
hurry, hurry,
bark, bark,
yell, yell,
get in the car tempers and feelings on edge,
argue, fight some more,
pull into the parking lot,
flip the switch without a word,
get out of the car,
smooth your clothes,
put a smile on,
walk to the door
Hi, how are you?
Oh, we are fine.
Hello there, how are you doing this morning?
We are doing good. How are you?
In that moment where time was blurred God reminded me what it was to pull up a pew to the fine and good theology...what is was like to sit at their feet week after week.
You see,
when us broken,
messed up people,
with all our hurt and baggage walk through the door of the church on Sunday morning with our smooth clothes, our smile, and our fine and good, we are preaching. We are preaching loud and clear and the theology is a dangerous one. The fine and good theology is teaching us that the church is no place for our problems, no place for our hurt, no place for our baggage. It is teaching that our fellow Christians have no desire to know about our problems, our hurt, our baggage. And worst of all it is teaching that Jesus Christ didn't die for our problems, our hurt and our baggage.
When we pull our pew up to this theology there is nothing left that is real or of value and we quickly burnout of doing good and looking good. We soon tire of the work it takes to make it to church. We soon grow weary of pretending with other Christians and realize there is no room for friendship without truth. We soon grow exhausted of trying to be good enough for Jesus and realize that you never will be.
That morning when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, God showed me I was about to repeat that with my own girls and my heart broke. I knew that I did not want them learning at the feet of fine and good. In that moment there were tears and repentance. Repentance for the child from 30 years earlier who bought into that theology and repentance for the momma who was teaching it. There were many apologies said and hugs given. The car ride to church was filled with conversation about how to make Sunday mornings go smoother, how to plan better and be more organized. And when we pulled up to the parking lot, we got out, smoothed our clothes and put a smile on our faces but when people asked how we were we didn't say fine or good. We said how happy we were to be there and that it had been a hard morning. There were many tears shed during the service by this momma as my Heavenly Father spoke words of healing, forgiveness, and encouragement to me
That was the day I learned the most at the feet of fine and good!
How are you today?
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
